Loss

I have friends that know God gives them a theme for a year…and they have inspired me to watch for the theme He has for me.

I didn’t catch last year’s theme until it was almost over.

Joy.

I truly, finally, and absolutely learned the difference between joy and happiness last year. It was a very ugly year on paper.

Lots of loss.

Loss of family, mentors, and deeply close friends.

Loss of a new life I never got to meet.

Friends whose own losses made my heart ache deeply,… as deeply as my own losses did.

Loss both financially and materially.

If there is one thing I’ve learned last year, it’s that to have Joy, you have to have perspective.

As I’ve said before, I don’t do New Year Resolutions, but I do value old year revelations. Here is some of the Joy that came from putting a perspective spin on some of that loss.

I lost fear. I lost so much fear. It isn’t completely gone, but it doesn’t weigh me down as it did before. I’m no longer afraid of loss. I have begun to look at trials from a James 1:2-4 perspective.  I’ve stopped trying to get out of things too quickly. There IS Joy in that. With the loss of fear I gained perspective.

I lost some pride. It isn’t completely gone either, but as painful as it was, it made room for more joy. Losing some of your stuff, will open your eyes to what is really important in your life. …and important for me has been shown to be much more different than what I was culturally trained to believe it was. With the loss of pride I gained truth.

I lost indifference. I’ve been shown that I’m needed to make a difference in the lives of others. That sometimes I have to walk through some ugly, so that I can help someone else down the road, …or to even be able to see that there is someone that needs help. I can make a difference, and it is a lie to think otherwise. I think many times we get so caught up in dwelling in our ugly, that we miss that there are folks going through even uglier. With the loss of indifference, I gained empathy.

So, Joy has taught me that loss is not bad. It gives me purpose.

I see this year’s theme. It’s a color. Stay tuned…I have a few things to accomplish before I can tell you, but I can tell you, it’s regal.

Where my mind wanders during work out…

Today, traveling on the treadmill with me were Blondie, Aerosmith, and Billy Joel.

1. Turns out that if you get up and study the prophets in the morning you may still be thinking about them when the song “What it Takes” fires up on the ole Ipod ap, and when that happens you are going to think of Hosea and Gomer.  Ok, maybe you wouldn’t, but I did, and now…if you are familiar with the story you’re probably going to go there too. And if you aren’t familiar with the story…read it. It’s just a short little book of the bible.

2. If you get to the gym early enough there is no one else there but the owner…and if he has to leave for a few minutes to get lightbulbs, then you may not be able to dance on the treadmill at 4 miles an hour, but you CAN sing loudly and play air drums to Blondie.

3. When the first person walks in at 10 after 8, and you try to tone it back down, it’s a good idea not to whisper/sing spontaneously, “I’m gonna getcha getcha getcha.”  It gets you weird looks and makes it harder to make work out friends.

4. Also, sometimes, when you start your TRX work out, the owner introduces you to the jazz album Queen Latifah made via Pandora, and you find that strength training to jazz, Queen Latifah in particular, is a beautiful thing.

5. Cold mornings are AWESOME to walk out into right after working out.

Have a good day ya’ll.

Our Favorite Chicken Enchiladas

A couple of years ago I stumbled across a super easy, super yummy chicken enchilada recipe that my family loved. Pretty much whenever I roast a chicken these days this dish gets made. We don’t always eat it right away though. This is one of those that freeze beautifully for another day. It’s also good to have on hand in the freezer to take to a family that could use a meal every now and then.

Here are the items you are going to need.

Two cups of cubed chicken. You should have at least 4 cups if you used a 5lb bird in the method I posted here.

A cup or more of beans. Pretty much any kind. I used pintos today.

A little over half a block of cream cheese.

A cup of salsa.

As much cheese as you think enchiladas need.

About 10 tortillas. Flour or corn, it doesn’t matter.

Enchilada sauce. (yes, I know. That is a can of processed sauce in that picture and I have some splaining to do…)

And finally things I don’t have listed that you can also use, green chiles, black olives, grilled peppers and onions. I’ve used them all at one time or another. I just did not have any on hand today.

First step.

Pour your salsa into a large pan and add the cream cheese in chunks.

You should mix them together on low to medium heat until they look like this.

Next add the beans and the chicken.

Then just mix it all together until it has warmed all the way through.

Now it’s time to start loading the tortillas. We have used flour, corn, and whole wheat tortillas for this dish. Just pick your favorite and go with it.

Just spoon a bit (a little more than this though) into the center of the tortilla and the roll it up.

Then start lining them up in a pan. I usually can get about 10 of them out of this recipe. Be sure to spray the pan.

Ok, now for my confession of the day. This is enchilada sauce with all the bad stuff that I typically try to avoid.
I have a fantastic recipe here for home made sauce that both Robert and I LOVE, but the children… hate. it. I’m sure I can find one that they will enjoy, I just haven’t looked for another yet, so, if you have one, please, please share.

Finally you need cheese!

Marble is my favorite, but other good ideas are smoked cheddar and pepper jack or a combination of any of these.  I’m pretty generous with the cheese on this dish. At least a cup and a half on top of the enchiladas.

I totally forgot to take a picture of the final product, so you will have to use your imagination. After the cheese you can top it with green chiles, or black olives, or some crumbled bacon, or even a little cilantro.  Be creative.

Then put it in the oven on 350 for about 20 to 25 minutes. The cheese will be bubbly when it’s done.

There are several of you reading this that have probably at one time or another had me show up on your door step with a pan of this if you were moving or had a baby, or just needed a meal for some reason. It is my most given out and requested recipe.

I can’t wait to hear how the rest of you like it! Enjoy.

Next and last. Chicken and Dumplins!

Now, if you REALLY want to make your house smell good…

There is nothing like the smell of home made chicken stock to give your house an edge in the comfy department. What I am about to show you I do at least twice a month.

This is super easy. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s not. Don’t be tricked into thinking this is some kind of time consuming activity that you you would never be able to do. It’s healthier. You control the flavor. And you’ll always have stock on hand never needing boullion or have half empty boxes of stock in your fridge ever again.

As soon as you get your chicken in the oven, go ahead and begin preparing the stock pot. It only takes about 7 or 8 minutes of your time.

Start here with the innards bag I told you about in my last blog.

This is basically just stuff you would never eat, but it does make some good stock. So just throw it in the pot and trust me. (have I ever let you down before?…well, except for that one time)

Next, and this is my favorite tip…

Skin an onion and stick it full of cloves. This is one of the best tricks in the book. There is something about the mingling of the two flavors this way, that just doesn’t happen when you just toss the cloves into the pot.

The following are some examples of a few other regular items you’ll find in my chicken stock.

Peppercorns and Bay Leaves. These are just plain black peppercorns, but Penzey’s has a variety of other kinds that I am interested to give a try sometime soon. The green one’s in particular are said to be a good pairing with poultry. Maybe Santa will put some in my stocking…..

A clove or two of garlic, whole, and peeled. Take the flat side of a knife and mash it till it cracks to just to let out a little extra flavor as it cooks.

Celery tops. Yep, those leafy parts of the celery you’ve been tossing out. Keep them the weeks you are going to make stock. You cannot have too much celery seasoning your stock. Also, carrots, with skins, and what ever “fresh” savory herbs you may have on hand. I usually use parsley, but this week I had sage left over from making french bread dressing for Thanksgiving. A word of wisdom though. If you use sage, go easy on it. It is VERY strong. You only need a couple or three leaves of it. Parsely on the other hand you really can’t over do.

Lastly, you need a little salt. I toss a small handful of coarse sea salt into my stock. The nice thing about this step is that YOU control the sodium. Some commercial stocks are just way too salty for my taste.

Now, just toss it all in the pot, put a lid on it, and wait for the chicken to get finished roasting. I usually just let it sit on top of the stove, so that it is handy right away.

Once your bird is done, let it cool a bit, and serve up what you need for dinner. Then, once you are done with dinner and clean up, just pull all the rest of the meat right off the bone and put it in a big bowl with a lid and save it in the fridge for two more meals I’m going to teach you how to make.

Then save your bones in the pot with all your stock seasonings and fill it with water to just above the carcass.

Then just bring it to a boil and let it boil for a good 20 to 25 minutes and then turn it down to a low simmer. for at least an hour two if you can be around that long. Then I just turn the pot off and let it cool completely.

Once it is totally cool. (I mean totally or you will have a mess in your freezer. I speak from personal experience) Then you can strain and bag it. I use a small strainer over a quart measuring cup.

I find that it freezes nicely, measured out by two cups and stored in pint sized bags. This is an area where I would strongly suggest that you do not skimp on brand names. Store brand freezer bags are a waste of money if you are freezing a liquid. The seal just does not hold. Again. I speak from experience. No one wants to clean a sheet of frozen chicken stock off of every single thing that was below it in the freezer.

This week though I’ll be saving my stock in the fridge for a day or two since I’ll be using it for the 4th blog in this series.

And THAT. is how you make incredible stock and smell up your house in a good way.

And on a side note, you can do this with more than just chicken bones. As I type this very moment I have a pot of ham stock cooling on the stone from the ham bone left over from our family get together in Macon. It’s a great time of year to stock up on ham stock to use on black eyed peas, various greens, and lima beans. Pretty much, you can use this method to make any kind of stock. Even shrimp shells to make seafood stock if you like shrimp bisque for instance.

OH! I nearly forgot the most important thing. The pictures aren’t great, but there is one very important step to making the stock.

Be sure to remove the Wish Bone!!!

This is two kids competing for a wish. I was unable to capture the true excitement of the moment.

But I managed to get a quick pick of the winner!

Next up…Part one of what to do with that chicken you put in the fridge.

Chicken Enchiladas!

Stay tuned…

In my Best Julia Child voice….

This.

…is a really bad picture of an irresistible roasted chicken.

Someone, who shall remain nameless, but who I sometimes refer to as Mr. HOTT (head of the table), stole a wing before I got a decent picture for this here instructional blog.

But, I digress. Lets start from the beginning.

Here is the way I make what I call, “Beer Butt Chicken”.

I have also, at times called it,

“Sprite Butt Chicken”,…or

“Hey! There is just enough wine in that bottle Butt Chicken”,…or

“What do we have that I can Roast this Chicken’s Butt in Chicken”.

Here is how you start.

Now, I use the Pampered Chef Bundt pan because that thing in the center there (does it have a proper name?) doesn’t have a hole in it. You can use a regular bundt pan though and just cover that with a couple of layers of aluminum foil.

What you see in the well there is a 12oz bottle of beer in this particular version, along with a sliced up tangerine (I usually use an orange, but this is what I had on hand today), and a couple of small, quartered onions.

This is an area where you can be creative. Oranges, tangerines, herbs, garlic, whatever. And of course what ever “juice” you want to use as I have previously mentioned. Apple cider is good too.

Here are a few other things I like to use. Again. Change it up from time to time. See what YOU like to use.

I grow rosemary, so I use it all the time. It’s free, and it pretty much is green and available all year round in these parts.
Also, another sliced tangerine, and I am a fan of Penzy’s and Wildtree’s spices. They are wonderful blends with no artificial ingredients. Here I have pictured Wildtree’s Lemon Pepper blend, and Penzy’s Northwoods blend. For this bird I went with the Lemon Pepper blend.

M’kay, before we go to the next step, there is something you need to know if you have never done this before. It could be shocking if you are not prepared.

You must reach your hand inside the bird and pull out…what I call…the “innards bag”.

Don’t open it.

You don’t want to know.

But.

You DO want to keep it. Just set it aside in a big stock pot. The next blog will tell you what to do with it.

Continuing to get personal with the chicken…

You can pull back the chicken’s skin with your fingers and slide the rosemary and tangerine slices just under it. This really flavors the meat during roasting.

You can just see the slices in this picture. Also rub down the chicken with a little oil and the lemon pepper. I don’t measure. I just use what I think looks like a decent amount.

Now, easiest part yet. Prop her bottom up on that thingy in the middle of the bundt pan that I don’t know the name of. Put it in a 350 oven for about an hour and a half, depending on they size you buy. I usually shoot for as close to 5lbs as possible, and that typically gives me at least three meals from the chicken.

Sorry for yet another terrible picture. I am working with a phone camera here. I should have turned off the oven light.

So. That wraps up lesson one more or less. The night I roasted this , I sliced up enough chicken for dinner and made a couple of simple veggie sides. Baked Butter Beans in Mustard and Sour Cream Sauce, and fixed a nice green salad.

The next chapter will cover making stock. REALLY good stock.

Top Five Reasons to Roast a Chicken

This next few days I’ll be doing a series of posts I’ve been wanting to do for awhile now. I’m going to show you a trick or two that I use to save a little money at our house, and it will take me a day or two to show you how to do it. Consider this the kick off.

Top Five Reasons to Roast a chicken:

5. You can make home made stock (3 to 4 quarts) and skip all the extra sodium and preservatives you get in commercial stock.

4. Depending on the size bird you choose, you can have dinner and prep two more for later in the week or put a couple of meals in the freezer.

3. You can save anywhere from .50 to .75 cents a pound by buying a whole bird vs. chicken breasts.

2. Your house will smell AMAZING while you roast and then again while you make stock.

…and the number one reason…

1. It will make you feel very grown up.

I hope you all find this useful and interesting! Watch out for instructions on roasting tomorrow!

The gift of Perspective

I have decided to do something culturally unacceptable. Some of you may be embarrassed for me when you see it, because I don’t have the good sense to be embarrassed myself apparently.

But bear with me for a minute first.

Have you ever been down on yourself?

Down in your self esteem? your view of how you look, act, react, and do anything that it is you do?

Down because of the hand you feel you were dealt?

Down because you didn’t get what you wanted?

Down because you did and now you don’t want it anymore?

Down because everyone thinks you have it together, and now….

you can’t let THEM down by letting them know you don’t…

have it all…

together?  (hmmmm, there is one of my big ones)

Down because you wake up on fire, you have your list, you are moving into a groove, when suddenly there is a diaper fail that causes a bath, laundry, mopping, and a trip to the store to buy something that will get that stink out of the pack and play.

Down because your body doesn’t look like the one on the cover of (insert the name of your favorite) magazine?

Well, have you? I have.

From time to time.

Lately though I have seen this changing in me. I’ve seen my perspective shift on a more regular basis. Maybe this is because of more regular quiet time this year, maybe it’s because I know I’ve never had so many people pray for me over this year as I have in years past. (thank you to the prayer warriors) Maybe it’s because I’m memorizing more scripture. Maybe it’s God using all of that together.

This past Sunday I was frowning at my belly. I could stand to do a few sit ups, I ain’t going to lie, but there is only so much that exercise is going to do for a belly that has housed 3 babies over 9 pounds each. But in a quiet moment, while I was blow drying my hair (trust me, it was quieter than the previously mentioned 3 babies) it occurred to me that …

…this belly…

…this vessel…

was the PERFECT result of some of the best things that God has ever allowed to happen to me.

How dare I loath it?

Perspective. Accept the gift.

Haven

Haven:  definition- 1. A place of safety/refuge. 2. a place offering favorable opportunities or conditions

Years ago, B.C. (Before Children), I was a member of the Chattahoochee Unit of the Herb Society of America.  This is an organization that promotes knowledge on the “use and delights” of herbs. I learned tons in the 5 or so years I was a member. Everything from how to successfully grow them to how to use them in cooking. Ever since I have had varying degrees of herb “gardens” each year. This year it is just a simple basil plant or two growing in my tomato buckets on the back porch.

One of the coolest things I learned though was about the “Language of Flowers” from member Geri Laufer. She wrote a wonderful book on the meanings of flowers and how to use them to express yourself. You can check out the book, Tussie~ Mussies, here. The copy I have has been faithfully used over the years, and has inspired me to collect other books on the language of flowers as well.  I’ve given Tussie Mussies as gifts for all kinds of different reasons thanks to Geri.

I’ve also had opportunity to use the language of flowers to tell my faith story several times over the years, to different mommy groups I’ve been involved in.  I find that my presentation changes from telling to telling each time depending on where God is working in my life at the time. The outer flowers in the Tussie~Mussie have become more interesting.

At the beginning of May, I had such an opportunity with the Mom’s Inc. group at my church. Little did I know that one of the “new” flowers I shared would mean even more to me in just a few weeks.

This flower…

… is called Queen Anne’s Lace. There is some cool folklore behind the name, but it’s the language of flowers meaning that I love.

Queen Anne’s Lace, in the language of flowers,  represents the word “Haven”.
When I last shared my story with my new mom friends at Moms Inc. in the early part of this past May, I was thinking of a physical haven. The first definition given above.

1. A place of safety/refuge.

I was thinking of the home my sweet mother in law has been so gracious to share with us this year as we start from scratch with a new business. She has made it a safe, easy, loving place to live and we are so blessed by her for it. I was also thinking how God provides when He asks you to do something.

In just a matter of 3 weeks, I was brought to the beginning of a place where I would come to a  better understanding of  the second definition.

2. a place offering favorable opportunities or conditions.

The preparation for the understanding has been in the making for awhile now. Several years in fact. As I have written before, fear has been a theme that God has really been been giving me some insight on over the last 4 years especially.  I’ve been challenged over and over to ask myself, “if it (it being what ever I was afraid of) happened, what would I do next?”.  I’ve been resolving to live through the “its” that will come in my life. I’ve been resolving to give them to my God, my “Haven” if He ever allowed it in my life, trusting the promise in Romans 8:28.

There were “it’s” I didn’t think to ask myself about though, even  though they had crossed my mind in the past.

What if “it” meant that one of my closest friends didn’t make it through another severe asthma attack?

What if “it” meant that an hour after her funeral I lost the surprise pregnancy, the baby I had become so excited about, to a 14 week miscarriage.

Me, choosing to go to my Haven that week was a challenge, but He was there, just like He promised here.

A week and a half later, when I finally felt like getting out again, I drove down a road I go down all the time and was awestruck by how the Queen Anne’s Lace had just completely taken over most of the drive to the community where our church and Robert’s office is.  Yes, the road I take to worship. The road I take to meet with my local body of Christ. It had been there before, but not in nearly as prolific a quantity.

The photo really doesn’t do it justice. There is so much more for several miles. It was there to comfort me  and to prepare my heart on the way to the physical haven of my church.

It wasn’t long, before my Haven began to show me the little gifts that came out of the sorrow. Gifts I could not have seen had I not had the Haven to rest in first. That when I could see outside myself and begin to understand a little tiny portion of the bigger picture,  I could tell that my Haven had provided me with favorable opportunities. Opportunities that I know will help others down the road, just as the countless number of women who contacted me that first week to offer sympathy and their own experiences,. Some who faced much bigger losses than I had,  helped  me face the next day, and the next. Women who reminded me that life does go on and it is good if you let it be good.

Take a look at what Queen Anne’s Lace looks like as it goes to seed.

It makes a little nest, a haven for the seeds. A place that is favorable for opportunities or conditions.

A Haven that promises rebirth, and miles and miles of life.

I love my wife

Right now, just under an hour away, my grandmother Harriet is holding my granddaddy H.C.’s hand and singing softly to him as he takes his time on his way to meet Jesus.

He has his daughters there with him and one of his sweet granddaughters, my cousin Molly too.

This has been a big year for my grandparents. In February, we celebrated my granddaddy’s 90th birthday.

Then in March, we celebrated their 70th year of marriage.

I’ll be celebrating a mere 15 years myself this October.  Just barely over 20% of the years they have had together. I can’t even imagine.

My cousin Molly shared with me at the last of these two get togethers that recently someone had come by to evaluate how he was doing. They asked a simple task of him. Could he write a sentence? No big deal right?

Granddaddy hadn’t been talking as much as he used to. Sometimes he would get a little confused or worried when things didn’t seem just right. If he could, what would he write?

They didn’t ask him to copy a pre-written phrase, or take down a line of dictation. They just asked him to write any sentence.

What did he write?

“I love my wife.”

When Molly shared this with me we both immediately teared up in the telling of it, because, well…they aren’t your average grandparents.

Or great grandparents for that matter.

What a gift to his wife to write that whether it be 1 year or 70. What a gift to his grandchildren to know that marriage is worth the hard work and that love can last through thick and thin.  (and please know that they have certainly had both)

I am blessed to have had the grandparents I have had for as long as I’ve had them.

I’ll miss Henry Clinton Milam, the man who taught me to make pop corn, who loves Bugs Bunny, and the man who loves his wife.

See you on the other side Granddaddy.

What time I am afraid…

“What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.”

“What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.”

“What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.”

This is the first Bible verse I remember memorizing as a child. I actually had to look up the reference this morning, Psalm 56:3, because that part I did not memorize.When you are 5 though, the reference doesn’t really matter.

“What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.”

I learned it well before I really understood much about God other than He had promised to protect me.

“What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.”

When I would wake up from a bad dream in the middle of the night, sure that something was waiting for me in the dark, I would tuck the sheets around every inch of me, even over my head so I couldn’t see shadows. I’d even make sure I was totally in the center of the bed because, well, if any part of me were hanging off the edge, that thing might get me. …and I’d chant in my head, not out loud, (never out loud!)…

“What time I am afraid I will trust in thee.”

I also used it against scary dogs, the Cheshire Cat in Alice and Wonderland, and when I had to pass the creepy silver faceless mannequins at the Body Shop when we went to the mall.

I know, I was a weird kid.

“What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.”

Like I was trying to convince myself it was true. It didn’t take the fear away…because I still didn’t realllllllly know Him yet. What can I say, I had trust issues as a child, but then, sometimes I find that to be true now too.

“What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.”

Then I got a little older, I understood more. I believed in Him. My verse changed.

“Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”

I remembered the reference to this one. Isaiah 41:10.

…Even though I believed in Him, I didn’t BELIEVE Him.  Different fears then.

Fears that I would disappoint. Fears of not looking just right. Fears that He didn’t want the same thing for my life that I did, so for a little over a decade I walked away not realizing a few things about why I did it. I fear I missed the point.

You see, most of those “grown up” fears didn’t have anything to do with Him. They had to do with me listening to other voices. Even that last one.  The verse doesn’t say that He was only with me if I didn’t fear. That decade I was “away” He was still with me. Looking back I see that now.  They weren’t “grown up” fears at all. They were proof that I had not matured in Christ. This is not to say that I am a perfect example of what a mature follower should be now. Oh no. That is the thing about fear, just when you think you have it conquered, it sneaks up on you in a different form.

I have a new verse these days. One that I finally understand.

^“ There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.”  1 John 4:18

I’ve also known this one my whole life, but didn’t understand it until recent years. See, I had the perception that MY love for Him had to be perfect, and the biggest reason I walked away is because I got frustrated in trying. In the back of my head,  deep down, I knew that wasn’t true, but see what fear can do? If you let it, if you aren’t aware of it, it overshadows everything else.

It’s

F. False

E. Evidence

A. Appearing

R. Real

God is that perfect love. He is the one that casts out fear. Not me on my own. HE is making me perfect in love.

I can honestly say I fear less now. Spending time with Him does that. It just naturally happens. I HAVE thought about so many “bad” things that could happen to me, and I’m in a place right now, where I know He’s got me covered. I do know though, that I have to stay in Him in order to be able see that. That doesn’t mean that He isn’t there when I’m not focused on Him, it’s a statement of where my perception lies. His fearless perception gets in me when I am focused on Him. He doesn’t want me to be tormented.

So now, I really understand it.

“What time I am afraid, I will trust in THEE.”