So I had this conversation with myself this morning.

“Myself “, I said, ” Now that you have started working out, you should post a before picture.”

“Uh, negative.” I replied

“No really, you already posted that flabby belly picture so this would be nothing.”, I argued.

“Fugetaboutit.” I was firm that time.

“And you could explain why you are doing this and what your plans are.”, I prattled on.

“I forbid it.” …and I crossed my arms and turned my back.

Next thing I know, I’m handing my camera to my 7 year  old…I let her take the picture. Let me see myself from her perspective, because she thinks I’m beautiful. (that is the BEST thing about kids, they always think you are pretty)

It took 5 shots before I could handle her perspective. …and I had to suck in. I didn’t do that in at least the first 3.

Overall, I think I’m pretty ok. Aside from the unflattering way I turned my hips, and the slouchy shoulders, I’ve never truly just hated my body. I’m actually amazed at what my body has been equipped to do. I mostly hate that I look tired and messy in the picture. It was about 6:45am on the way to the bus stop, and let me tell ya…she could not take those pictures fast enough. It was quite chilly. I was glad to get that polar fleece back on.

So here is the thing. I want to feel strong again. Strong like I did in labor. (Well except for that transition part where I told everyone I was going to die) So I have a plan to accomplish that.

A few years ago, I wrote a “to do before I turn 40” list. I have accomplished most of that list.

I learned to belly dance.

I had two more children at home.

I sang a solo in church.

…and several other things too.

I think though, I must have been drunk or something when I wrote “run a marathon”.

I have no idea why I wrote that. I have NEVER enjoyed running.

But I did. So, I’m going to give it a go. I have two years to complete this one. So this year, I plan to run a half marathon in preparation for the whole marathon next year.

This is not a new years resolution. I’m not doing it to lose weight.

I’m doing it to get that high. I’m doing it because I want to finish something big. I’m doing it because I need a new challenge.

And now, I have put it out there for everyone to see…so…I have to do it!

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